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I DISAPPOINT PEOPLE EVERY DAY (AND I'M OKAY WITH IT)

Live Love and Eat

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August 2025

In this article, I share a deeply personal truth: I disappoint people every single day. And not because I'm careless or unkind—but because I've stopped abandoning myself to make others more comfortable.

- Victoria Kleinsman

I DISAPPOINT PEOPLE EVERY DAY (AND I'M OKAY WITH IT)

As a recovering people pleaser, I know what it feels like to panic at the thought of upsetting someone. To over-explain, to bend over backwards, to feel responsible for everyone's feelings except my own. But here's what I've learnt... people pleasing isn't a personality trait. It's a survival strategy. And it's keeping you exhausted, disconnected, and resentful.

I say work, I don't see coaching as work, I love it too much to call it that. But juggling a full-time business with a young child and sleep and all the things.

So I thought, you know what, I'm just gonna pull up some notes that I started typing months ago now and share this with you.

I disappoint people every day. Not on purpose, obviously. Not because I'm careless, not because I don't care. I care about a lot of people. I love people in general. You can tell, hopefully, anyway, through my content that I deeply care about every single person out there. And I always say this, let me just take a drink. Every single act that we do, It is either an act of love or a cry for love.

So I always understand why someone's done what they've done. So, anyway, I digress a little bit in terms of disappointing people. The reason I disappoint people every day because I've chosen to stop abandoning myself in order to make others more comfortable. And this isn’t a confession. A confession is when you feel like you're doing something wrong. It’s actually a celebration.

I am a recovering people pleaser. I’m almost there. There are still a few things here and there where I'm still people pleasing, but I’m aware of it. So awareness is key because with awareness, we can then change it. But the thing is, if you're still trying to make everyone happy, if you're still trying to be the perfect friend, the perfect mother, the perfect partner, the perfect daughter, the perfect colleague, et cetera, I want to set you free today.

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