The Silent Bedroom

Dr. Anu Mehta delves into the complexities of diminished intimacy among urban couples, examining both the biological and psychological factors that contribute to this phenomenon.

- Anu Mehta

Sex is more than our desires, erotic experiences, intimate connections and sexual behaviour. It is the deepest expression of the power of creation. —Sheri Winston (2010)

A friend of mine was in a loveless and sexless marriage for several years until she finally decided to divorce her husband. She then got married to a business magnate hoping that he would be able to take care of her sexually as well as emotionally.

However, she is perplexed because, although her partner is emotionally supportive, he seems to lack interest in sexual intimacy with her. He doesn’t clarify much on being probed and she is confused as to what makes him disinterested despite being so emotionally attentive.

The absence of sexual intimacy and intercourse can have a significant impact on a romantic relationship. It can lead to a variety of psychological and physiological consequences, such as stress, jealousy, anxiety, dissatisfaction, and estrangement.

This situation piqued my interest and I decided to explore the topics of sexual and emotional compatibility, along with sexual desire and fulfilment. To delve into the reasons behind these phenomena, I conducted an interview with Dr. Ameet Patke MBBS, MD (Obstetrics and Gynaecology), DNB (Obstetrics and Gynaecology).

Dr Ameet Patke explained that sexual chemistry between a couple is a combination of physical attraction and emotional connection. A compatible emotional connection, based on mutual respect and understanding, leads to comfortable sexual compatibility. Couples who have an authentic and relaxed communication style tend to be more sexually compatible. They value each other’s value systems and beliefs. Conversely, an emotionally uncomfortable, aggressive, or empty relationship filled with dismissive behaviour may result in sexual disconnection.