RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

The best weddings might be straight out of fairy tales, but the best marriages are fuelled by hard work, deep wells of patience and abundant empathy. By NIDHI GUPTA.

- NIDHI GUPTA

1. Talk about the money, honey.

So you're a double income household run by a power couple with soaring careers and sky-high ambitions? Between income-based power play, stealth overspending and a mismatch in financial values, money can derail things faster than you can count the zeroes in your bank balance. Revisit your financial goals regularly. “Make sure you agree on one simple structure: how do we split bills, save and splurge?” says Lavanya Mohan, chartered accountant, content creator and author of Money Doesn't Grow On Trees. “You can go 50/50, or pro-rata based on income, or keep a joint account just for shared goals. Whatever works—as long as you both understand it and both feel seen.”

2. Read the Kama Sutra.

“The sage Vatsayana wrote that for good sex, the genitals have to be fairly matching in size,” says mythologist and author of The Art of Seduction, Seema Anand. “But obviously, you can't always go checking the size of people’s genitals before you marry them, so he created a bunch of ways and positions to synchronise those sizes.” There’s also an entire section in the Kama Sutra devoted to what men can do to make a woman fall in love with him, so that she will accept his proposal—just like Hitch, but this advice on romance and foreplay is everlasting.

3. Accept that the in-laws are part of the package.

Begin by “sharing what family means to you from a space of understanding context, not from a space of blame,” suggests Mumbai-based psychotherapist Anusha Manjani. “In South Asia, we marry into networks of duty and history. Often what we call ‘interference’ by in-laws is unresolved enmeshment or unconscious loyalty. Partners are often trying to mature from fused roles like the ‘good child’, ‘dutiful son’, ‘obedient daughter-in-law’ and that can create conflict.”