DATING ACROSS THE LINES

There's no question that we're living-and looking for love-in contentious times, where extreme political ideologies have all but divided parts of the dating pool. Or have they? Vera Papisova investigates.

- VERA PAPISOVA

ONE DAY last July, I went to dinner with a man who had sent me death threats.

"I'll kill you slowly..." he'd emailed me repeatedly several years ago, when I was working as a magazine editor covering, among other things, sexual assault and abortion rights. Like many women on the internet, I didn't know if he was fixated on me specifically or if mine was just an email an angry man found on 4chan.

Now, years later, I recognized his email address after we matched on a dating app. Did he remember? Did he recognize me? Was that why he wanted to go on a date?

I had no idea. I only knew why I was there: In a sincere attempt to not only date but understand men like let's-call-him-Jared*, I spent much of 2024 on a conservative dating app. There are plenty to choose from, free and easily found, wherever you get your apps. Some platforms cater to the politically right-leaning looking for love with like-minded people; others are more identity-based, a handful center Christianity, and many welcome daters with any kind of political beliefs.

On the app I'd ultimately go with, I presented myself truthfully, as a Republican-curious woman tired of the Democrats' hopelessness and constant pivoting during a highly charged election year. I come from a liberal background, I explained in my initial chats with matches, but was open to new perspectives. I used "Veronica" as my app name, listed my actual age (34), uploaded a few real photos, then worked through the provided prompts. I answered ones asking what I love about America but skipped fill-in-the-blanks about my thoughts on January 6th.