BIG TROUBLE IN COTTAGE COUNTRY

SHORT-TERM RENTERS HAVE TAKEN OVER, LOCALS ARE MAD AS HELL AND TOWN COUNCILS FROM MUSKOKA TO TINY TOWNSHIP ARE MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE

- BY CAITLIN WALSH MILLER

Big and blocky, it’s sandwiched between similarly oversized homes on a sparsely landscaped cul-de-sac, like a Monopoly property strategically plonked down to maximize ROI. The cut-and-paste interior is engineered for maximum rentability: the carefully staged comforters, accent throw pillows and framed word art all look like they were snapped up during a single lap through HomeSense. One aggressively cheerful print insists, “YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH HAPPY.”

But the real selling point of the five-bedroom, three-bathroom property is its proximity to the beach. It abuts a sand dune in a quiet corner of Tiny, Ontario, just a three-minute walk from Bluewater Beach on the southeastern edge of Georgian Bay. The township—a low-rise stretch of cottages and year-round residences—is home to roughly 13,000 full-timers and, thanks to a quirk of geology that scientists don’t fully understand, what may be the purest water on earth. It was dubbed Tiny in 1822, after a Cavalier King Charles spaniel that belonged to the wife of the lieutenant-governor of Upper Canada.