WHAT'S YOUR PARENTING-FAILURE STYLE?

Whether you’re horrifying your teen with nauseating sex-ed analogies or watching TikToks while your toddler eats a bagel from the subway floor, face it: you’re flailing in the vast chasm of your child’s relentless needs.

- KIRA GARCIA

Why not get comfortable with your ineptitude? Discover your unique parenting-failure style with this fun quiz:

1. Your eight-year-old has been watching chainsaw demonstrations on YouTube lately. You wake up one morning to a loud buzzing from the back yard, followed by a crash. Do you:

(a) Put an extra frozen waffle in the toaster—sounds like she’s working up an appetite.

(b) Performatively yell at her so that the neighbors can hear, but then, in private, praise her—those landscaping skills will pay for college.

(c) Chuckle into your cannabisinfused morning smoothie and turn up the volume on “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.”