Testing, testing

"Most people just decide whether they like a car or not"

- MATT SAUNDERS

Do people still put eyelashes on their cars? It's been a while since I've been in the accessories aisle to check.

The latest thing seems to be those cat stickers put in rear windows that make the rear wiper look like a little tail (what a shame that the artist formerly known as the Ora Funky Cat doesn't have a rear wiper). I saw a Volkswagen T4 Transporter van the other day, the back of which looked like a mobile anthology of every bumper sticker yet made. You could barely see that it was a Transporter underneath them all.

"But this," thought I, as I made my way down the A34 the other day, "is the stick-on car mod to rule them all." There it was: a 10-year-old black Seat Ibiza estate and otherwise entirely unremarkable - except that it had devil's horns.

Not those little chrome ones that sometimes get stuck around makers' badges, with the little forked tail underneath (cringe). No, actual 'life-size' plastic ones, plonked high on the roof.

It was probably risking eternal damnation just thinking it, and I never imagined I would, but crikey, I miss fluffy dice.