Bring Back The Groove

This is the month, rediscover your mojo and banish libido killers! Confidence between the sheets starts with these tips.

- Becky Fletcher

According to a study commissioned by Singles247.com, women reach their peak of sexual confidence at age 31. On top of confidence, recent research from the University of Texas suggests sex drive increases in your thirties and forties, with a marked rise in sexual fantasies.

“Sexuality develops throughout our lifetime,” says psychotherapist and sex expert Aisha Ali. “Life changes, such as work, children and marriages, all affect our sexuality and relationships, but no one stops being sexual after a certain age.” However, while research suggests the yearning for sexual intimacy doesn’t decrease with age, there are clearly factors that diminish our confidence and desire. The study also found that only 12% of the adults questioned described their sex life as very good; most gave it a lacklustre five out of 10. If you’re in a relationship that has gone off the boil, here are a few ideas to ramp up your libido again:

INITIATE INTIMACY

Whether it’s running around after children or working long hours in the office, a number of factors can conspire to ensure that sex isn’t on the cards as often as it could be. “Our lives have become busy, and we have less time for partners,” says Ali. “A common complaint I hear from clients is that they’re time-poor and too tired for sex.”

On top of this, “a lot of bedrooms aren’t set up for sleep or love-making,” explains psychological therapist Michelle Bassam. “Everybody is constantly on their smartphone or tablet – they log off, then turn over and think ‘I’m going to have sex’, but it doesn’t happen.” This behaviour can leave a partner feeling undesired.