Good intentions

Resolutions rarely become reality, and yet we continue to make them. The good news, however, is that there’s another way – and it makes them far more likely to stick.

- BROOKELE POER TRENCH

When the calendar ticks over to January 1, we begin to plot and plan. With Christmas behind us, the new year stretching ahead feels like a fresh start. And so we resolve to change. In ancient Rome, this involved making sacrifices to a two-faced god and promising to behave. Fast forward 2000 years, and our goals have become more nuanced. Mostly, they tend to fall into one of a few different buckets: body (drop a dress size!), mood (meditate daily!), money (get a better job!), and self-improvement (be a better daughter/wife/friend/mother!). “But often what is wrapped up in these goals is the belief that we are lacking or falling short in some way,” says entrepreneur and mentor Lorraine Murphy, author of Step Into You. And no matter how determined you feel in those early days of the year, statistics show most resolutions are abandoned by mid-January. The obvious answer is to stop making them, but there is real value in taking some time to reflect and reset. The trick, according to the experts we spoke to, is how we frame what we want and motivate ourselves to get there. “By definition, our resolutions come with a strong belief that something will happen or be the case. It’s a bid for control when of course we can’t control the future,” says Madeleine Dore, author of I Didn’t Do the Thing Today, noting the answer isn’t to abandon all expectations or the hope that comes with them. “Instead, another way is to let go of our attachment to particular outcomes and great expectations for our future self and soften resolutions into intentions.” An intention is lighter – it’s an aim, rather than an assumption. And ironically, it’s more likely to get you where you want to go.

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