Let the Music Play

My dad died days before the global lockdown. While I was trapped within four walls, music and dancing gave me reason to smile again.

- By Debbie Hathway

When my father was diagnosed with a painful and aggressive lymphoma in late 2019, four years after my mother passed away, I turned to Angolan dance teacher Braulio Faria of Forever Dance Academy in Cape Town for support. It was the summer before lockdown. In between chemo sessions, we danced for hours. Until I felt I could breathe again.

That sounds weird, I know, but when I’m stressed my chest locks and my breathing becomes shallow. Braulio instinctively knows where I’m at and gets on with my ‘therapy’, leading me through classic kizomba, a dance performed in a family setting, and semba, the Angolan party dance. Eventually I relax, swept away by the magical African rhythms and, at that time, the views of Table Mountain from Braulio’s studio balcony.

I’ve danced all my life, and thrive on all kinds of partner dancing, from sokkie to semba – but I find the Angolan dance styles best for dissolving my mental and emotional blocks. I think it has to do with the joy of being held, safely, while moving to incredible music.

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

My dad passed away before dawn on 11 March 2020. The following day I flew to Botswana via Joburg for an exclusive travel assignment I couldn’t cancel. I’d planned the trip to coincide with a weekend dance festival, which I navigated through numbing disbelief and floods of tears in the arms of empathic partners. Multitalented dance teachers Frias Fumo from Mozambique and Sidney Grant from the US – who led me to dance the best Argentine tango of my life, all legs and flicks and embellishments – played their part.