A huge mistake

Walking down the aisle, I already knew I was doing the wrong thing Jackson Fox, 46

- FRANCES LEATE, LIANA JACOB

Most women have been dreaming about that day since they were a little girl. And looking back at old photos of my wedding in March 1994, I look exactly like I’m in the middle of a fairy tale.

A blushing bride, complete with flowing ivory gown and a long train.

Butterflies darted around my tummy as I walked into the church.

I said my vows and kissed my new husband Brent, then 25.

Hundreds of our friends and family smiling around us.

Only, the nerves I was feeling hadn’t been just the normal wedding jitters. I knew the feeling well.

I’d felt exactly like I did as an 11-year-old, when Mum had forced me to wear a frilly, teal dress with patterned shoes.

All I’d wanted to do was rip it off, run around in jeans and a T-shirt, and play football with the boys.

Growing up in Texas, I was tall and stocky, never very feminine, inside or out.

‘You look like a boy,​ Rachel,’ Mum said sadly when I came home from the hairdresser’s at 16 with short, cropped hair. ‘Good,’ I grinned proudly. I felt like a boy, I wanted to be one... And I’d known for years that I was attracted to girls. Ever since I got my first crush on my summer school teacher.

So my wedding day may have looked perfect.

But, really, it was all a farce.

I loved Brent, but as a friend.

It wasn’t surprising, then, that our marriage didn’t last.

In August 2000, we went our separate ways. And I finally plucked up the courage to date women. I kept my hair short, wore suits to my job as a care home owner.

Despite the odd comment and dodgy look, most people accepted me.

Then, in November 2013, a co-worker set me I looked the part – up on a but didn’t feel it blind date.