When My Glass Remained Full​​​​​​​

From years of uncontrolled drinking to sobriety, how I extracted myself and found a new purpose in life

- Debangshu Chaudhury

Everyday , with single -minded dedication, I would make my way to the nearest liquor store. Whether midmorning, early evening or when the store was about to down its shutters, I would be found striding towards it purposefully. One thought playing in my mind in a loop: “Oh God, please let the shop be shut.” But then, it would be open, the gleaming bottles calling out my name. Within a few minutes, clutching a plastic bag with a bottle rolling around in it, I would walk away. Alternately euphoric with the purchase and despising myself for having made it. Happy that I had my fix for the day, yet loathing myself for my utter lack of self-control, helplessness and slavery to the bottle.

WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF AN ALCOHOLIC.

I had started off with the occasional drink at parties, which soon became more than just a couple. For an inherently shy person, alcohol made it easy for me to open up. I started enjoying my drinks while socializing. Booze-laced afternoons stretched into alcohol -sodden evenings, which tapered off into incoherent, hazy nights. This was the story, every single day. Remarkable bonds and friendships were formed over alcohol. It was also quite hip to be a guzzler. I got to be the soul of the party, with a full glass by my side, strumming my guitar, singing, flirting, cracking jokes … Life was good. Drinking hard numbed the demons shrieking in my head, enabling me to forget just about every disturbing facet of my life and allowing me to do things that I wouldn’t dream of when sober. A drink (or five) transformed me into another person, a person I really despised in the cold light of day.

ONE FOR THE ROAD.