‘Three Generations Live Under Our Roof '

Mars Webb and her family moved from London to Belfast to be near her ageing parents. But when her mother became unwell, Mars made a decision that would change their lives forever...

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Mars Webb, 51, lives with her husband, Patrick, 54, their son, Tom, 19, and daughter, Poppy, 15. Their other daughter, Tess, 20, is at university but comes home in the holidays. Ten years ago, they relocated from London to Belfast, buying a property with outbuildings and converting it into a seven-bedroom home to accommodate Mars’s parents. According to a survey by eBay, nearly a fifth of UK households now consist of three or more generations, like the Webbs’s.

‘Mum was diagnosed with dementia 12 years ago. At the time, Patrick and I were living with the kids in south London, which is where I grew up – Mum and Dad had settled back in Northern Ireland. I was very distressed at the news – plus, being an only child, I felt a huge sense of responsibility. They’d always been such amazing parents, and now, they needed my support. For the next year or so, I went back and forth to Belfast, keeping an eye on them both. But it was exhausting – and still not enough.

It took a couple of years to occur to me that we could move over to Belfast to be closer to them. It’s a lovely city and a great place to bring up children. It feels very quiet and safe. Patrick agreed straight away, even though it would mean giving up his job as a model. We found good schools and a house to rent nearby, then rented out our London home. Leaving was tough for the kids, though. Tess was 11 and about to start secondary school, so everything was changing for her anyway. But Tom was reluctant to leave his best friend behind. Still, they’re very resilient and they soon settled down in their new home.

Mum’s dementia grew steadily worse and her physical needs increased over time.