10 Lessons On Adjusting To New Fatherhood

It’s natural to focus on a pregnant mom and her transition into motherhood. But fathers-to-be often don’t get the same attention – or guidance – on what to expect when they’re expecting. These dads shed some light,

- Melany Bendix

SOME OF THE emotions and life changes that come with a new baby often take men by surprise. “Research indicates that many new dads experience emotional distress following the arrival of baby, but question the legitimacy of such experiences,” notes Johannesburg-based clinical psychologist Michelle Andrews.

It’s not uncommon for new fathers to feel out of place, confused, helpless, and perhaps a bit jealous of the bond between mom and child, or even resentful of how little time they now have for themselves. And then there’s the new feeling of unconditional love and the strong instinct to protect the newborn, which can also overwhelm new dads.

“Parenthood is an emotional journey in which both parents are faced with major adjustments. Sharing one’s concerns or frustrations can assist in normalising such experiences,” advises Michelle. She adds, “It’s important that men find a platform to express their experiences.”

One way to do that is to speak to other dads about their new fatherhood experiences. We called on a few to share their most important lessons…

1 YOU’LL LEARN PATIENCE AND SELFLESSNESS (THE HARD WAY)

“I’ve never known as much frustration or sleeplessness as I do now. But, I don’t think I’ve known as much love and tenderness, either.” – Brent Palmer, 44, father of two

“I quickly came to realise that being a father is a pretty thankless role for the most part. But now that she’s three, I also get my daughter’s love and adoration, and that’s priceless.” – Sergio Rinquest, 36, father of one

“Fatherhood has taught me patience, and that spending time with my baby is irreplaceable in building a relationship.” – Andre Swartz, 36, father of one