Conscious parenting

Conscious parenting is a radically diff erent approach to raising children that can be healing for the whole family.

- GEORDIE BULL

It’s hard to believe that less than two years ago I was so consumed with parenting issues that I could hardly function. One of our children was displaying significant behaviour problems at school and my husband and I were constantly arguing over our differing parenting styles. We existed in survival mode, entrenched in a life that felt increasingly chaotic. The task of creating health and harmony in our family seemed insurmountable, yet I had a deep sense that there was a better way and I was willing to do the work to get there. While I resolved not to bring my kids up “the old way”, full of criticism, control and judgement, I also knew that I didn’t want to raise them to be entitled. I held a vision of a middle road, an approach that would allow my husband and me to unite and parent our kids in a way that felt intuitively right.

We finally hit rock bottom when it became clear that we had two choices: “fix” our kids’ behaviour by following mainstream advice or experiment with changing our own behaviour. I felt drawn to what Oprahendorsed psychologist Dr Shefali Tsabary names “conscious parenting”, which advocates approaching parenting with awareness of your own triggers, reactions and behaviours. Together, my husband and I chose to stop focusing on fixing our kids and dived into the work of healing ourselves and developing a new approach to parenting that felt right. In the space of two years we have taken our family from dysfunctional to (relatively) harmonious, learning skills along the way that have not only enhanced our experience of parenting but transformed our marriage and our individual lives.