Teach Him How To Please You In Bed

Whether You’re Trying to Undo the Tragic Moves He’s Picked Up From Porn (May the Jackhammer R.i.p.) or Take His Skills From Good to Omg-great, Here’s What to Do to Get What You Want.

- Rose Surnow

TRUTH: GUYS WANT TO PLEASE YOU

Every time a man helps you orgasm, he secretly does the Carlton dance from Fresh Prince in his mind. So why is he fingering you like your cervix owes him money? Or rushing through foreplay? Or drilling into you like he’s fracking for oil? Because nobody teaches guys how to stroke your C-spot or give good oral. Their main resource (other than equally clueless buddies or ex-girlfriends who may have had different preferences) is porn—and unfortunately, Game of Bones just doesn’t cut it as an educational tool.

“Men are expected to be solely responsible for the pleasure aspect of sex. Women are given the idea that they should just lie there and the guy is supposed to know what to do,” says sex educator Carlin Ross, author of How to Make a Girl Come. But that’s how bad sex happens! It’s time to take control of your pleasure. The best part is that communicating your desires can actually make sex steamier. Follow our lead.…

YOU WANT... Him to Say Hot Things During Sex

A surefire way to get some good dirty talk going is to start the conversation yourself. Say, “I love how you feel inside me” or “Your tongue is magic”—whatever gets him off. Then ask him some leading questions to get him talking, suggests sexologist Jill McDevitt, PhD. “Try asking, ‘How much do you want me to spread my legs?’ or tell him to ‘beg for it.’” Some guys might be scared of dirty talk because they’re afraid they’ll spit out something stupid or offensive. For the shy guy, Ross recommends getting a book of erotica— or just a novel with sexy scenes—and asking him to read a particularly hot passage to you out loud. Once you both get more comfortable, you can go off page and create your own wild fantasies.