How To Talk To Your Friends About Money

We talk to our mates about sex, politics, and health, yet conversations around cash are still taboo. Here's how to tackle those tricky situations and walk away with your group intact...

- Kalpana Fitzpatrick

When it comes to contentious topics, money is right up there. We have all been in situations where someone doesn't fancy paying their share of the bar tab, or maybe you are the one who finds their friends splashing out carelessly, and you feel left behind? Whatever the issue, dealing with it is rarely fun. But it is not just awkward: not talking about money with friends could be costing you anywhere from a few extra hundred bucks a month—or thousands—all because we don't want to seem impolite. To help avert friendship bust-ups over money, we have enlisted the experts to explain what to do when confronted with some tricky scenarios...

THE DILEMMA

'I lent my friend ₹20,000 and they have not paid me back.'

The Solution: No matter how frustrating this feels, take heart from the fact it is a very common scenario. According to a Lloyds Bank study, 30% of adults say they have argued with friends about money, with lending being the main cause. “Ask yourself: do you want the money in that moment or would you just like it if they acknowledged the situation? says Alex Holder, author of Open Up: Why Talking About Money Will Change Your Life.

Sometimes, just knowing they haven't forgotten can help you feel better; ask them if it is okay for you to remind them in a month and then. But if it really is about the money and your resentment is starting to damage the friendship, speak up. “If you don't ask them, it will just play on your mind and affect your relationship,” Alex adds.

If they can't afford to pay you back, work with them to come up with a repayment plan. Start by asking: Would