Goodbye and good luck

Harry Mount has seen how useful royal etiquette was for Prince Harry and Prince Charles. The Sussexes face an exposed life without it

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Evelyn Waugh said Americans use good manners to get closer to one another – and the British use them to keep one another at arm’s reach.

There’s a similar clash between the social etiquette of celebs and royals. Sometimes it’s a literal clash.

In October, at the Albert Hall, the Duchess of Sussex tried to hug Kate Robertson, a founder of One Young World, a youth leadership organisation. Robertson, though, was mid-curtsy and found herself staring at Meghan’s chest.

This sounds trivial. In fact, etiquette is a subtle way of dealing with the awkwardness that comes from being in the company of royalty – those rictus grins and rabbit-in-the-headlights stares you see on TV on the faces of guests at Buckingham Palace receptions.

An adviser to Prince Charles once told me of an encounter the prince had with young people being helped out by the Prince’s Trust. When they first met him, they didn’t bow and tried to have a normal conversation – which turned out to be extremely awkward.

Prince Charles suggested to the adviser that, before he met them again, the youths should be taught to bow, curtsy and call him Your Royal Highness – a mode of address the Sussexes will no longer use.

This adviser told him all the flummery would only increase the awkwardness but agreed. When they met again, the youths bowed and – hey presto! – the occasion went much more smoothly.