Yoga and Total Health|May 2020
I have always enjoyed peaceful places, but it is rather new for me to also enjoy normally peaceful persons. Yet it is a fact that I have often disturbed the peace of others, mainly when they appear in groups (not so in closer relationships). That usually happens because of my liking for argumentation, debate, and my, maybe, too rigid moral fiber. I also like to challenge others when their kind of peacekeeping seems to me to be a lazy, hollow kind of peace. But at least I no longer lose my temper to the extent that I explode. Learning more about Vrittis, Kleshas, and Samskaras, i.e. that every mental process, experience, and action that one has gone through, leave latent impressions on one’s mind. This has made me realize that the roots of my explosive behaviour reach far, far back into my childhood. It was then that many impressions of pain, anger, and frustration were formed, which in the run of years got strengthened. So whenever these get touched subconsciously by certain words or behaviours by others, they come out of their latency to manifest as inadequate reactions of mine. So when even today I might, very rarely, shout at persons in front of me, I do not really shout at them but at those, with whom I had to suppress shouts, tears, and various feelings far back in childhood.
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