Examining your behavior when you bicker can put your relationship back on track.
When a row erupts between a couple, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and quarrels can be a release valve that prevents issues, as well as resentment, from building up, says San Diego-based marriage and family therapist Jennine Estes on her podcast, The Couple Fix. “All couples fight,” agrees psychotherapist Tyler Ong, PsyD, MS. “The difference between healthy, functional couples and destructive ones is the way they fight.”
At their worst, disputes between couples morph into all-out attacks. Negative behaviors end up creating “an enemy-defender dynamic, with each side thinking he or she is the victim,” says Ong. “Obviously, when a supposedly loving relationship transforms into a threat and a need to defend oneself from one’s partner—who is now an enemy instead of a significant other— primal survival instincts come to the fore.” Hence the raised voices, dilated pupils, clenched muscles, and threatening postures.
QUASH THESE QUARRELING HABITS
This story is from the December 2017 edition of Cosmopolitan Philippines.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the December 2017 edition of Cosmopolitan Philippines.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
The Millennial Sex Slump
What’s got this generation down and out instead of hot and heavy?
Angel Healing And Past Lives
The CURIOUS COSmO GIRl’S GUIde TO
Confessions
Because even Chirtmas can be traumatizing
8 Things You Should Know About Getting Tested For HIV
December 1 is World Aids Day
Julie Sparks Joy
All her life, actress, singer, and songwriter Julie San Jose has been making everyone around her happy. Here’s why she’s not stopping anytime soon.
The 411 On Foreplay
Here’s how to really get ready for the main event.
How We Make It Work Gela Munoz And Paolo Salgado
The blogger and creative director open up about being each other’s first and last.
Faith, Love and Hope
Liza Soberano wants you to know that she is more than skin-deep.
10 Things We All Worry About
Unclench your fists, slow your breathing, and let go of your hair. We’ve got good news for you worrywarts— we’re all doing it!
Love Better: Work Towards That Happy Ending
Sure, you’re a catch. But you can make your relationship skills A+ by working on these four great-mate traits—even while you’re single.