Linda Mtoba has had some attention-grabbing phrases and titles since she started out in the entertainment industry. I interviewed her for the first time three years ago when she was still going by the catchy phrase, ‘A girl with a whole lot of Disney’. I admit that I found the phrase well-fitting because each time she wears her extravagant dresses; she looks like a princess. But, she says her biggest and best title yet, is being called ‘Umama ka Bean’.
JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD
Becoming a mother is a big deal for women who aspire to have a child, and this is something Linda is more than familiar with. She tells me this during our chat about her pregnancy journey. “I found out very early that I was pregnant. I think I was about two weeks when I took the pregnancy test at home. From that day on I was very ready for the performance of my life; to wear baggy clothes and touch my stomach when I walk. I even asked my husband if he could see my bump, but it was still early I hadn’t started showing,” says a jovial Linda. The idea that there was a life inside of her was exciting because she and her husband had wanted to have a baby from early on in their relationship.
FEAR AND ANXIETY
“I remember in 2018, when I started preparing myself mentally to get pregnant. I would cry and pray because I didn’t know for sure if I could have children. Thinking about it was daunting and it made me emotional because the possibility of not being able to have kids would have meant one of us had a problem. We were so ready for a child, and since it was going to be both our first-time being parents, we had even started making plans for when the child arrives,” she says. Fortunately, it all worked out in the end because Linda fell pregnant. But, she says the anxiety didn’t stop, instead it got worse and brought about new worries. “The first three months were the scariest for me. I remember I used to constantly check if my baby was still there and if she was okay. Carrying a life is such an out of body experience because there’s really nothing you can do outside of trying to be healthy. You’re even scared to do normal things like driving because you are worried about getting into an accident and have something bad happen to you or your child. You hear scary stories of women losing their babies during pregnancy and you worry about that happening to you. Everything just became 10 times scarier than it was before.” But, as much as there’s anxiety and fear, Linda explains that there’s hope in it as well. “Pregnancy is such a spiritual process. You know it’s all God’s grace and there is nothing else to it. You embrace and enjoy it until that very last minute where you hold your baby in your arms.”
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