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Living together APART

September 10, 2024

Woman's Weekly

For some couples, the relationship works better without sharing the same roof

'It keeps the magic alive'

Sue Willis, 75, lives in Surrey. Her partner of 15 years, Rupert, 77, lives in Denmark.

As my children ran around my best friend's garden, in walked her brother. It was 35 years ago but I can still remember his chiselled jaw and lovely bum! I'd become friends with Rupert's sister, Ana, after we'd met as young mums. Rupert was raising his children in Denmark but he'd visit in the summer and we'd take all the kids swimming together. We were both divorced single parents with a shared love of classic cars, and Ana was always trying to get us together. We had feelings for each other but the timing wasn't right.

Then, 15 years ago, it was. Rupert was in the UK over Christmas 2008 when Ana called. 'Come over!' she'd insisted. Now both retired, we could just be. I went to Denmark for a week. 'Will you stay longer?' Rupert asked. So I did!

I loved living with him in his home by a fjord. He set me up my own area in his workshop, and we'd do woodwork and silversmithing together. I taught him to sail and we'd take his dog on walks in the woods. I'd come home regularly to see my family, often with Rupert too. But one of my children, Pip, 45, has special needs. Although she lives in an assisted living home, I needed to be in the UK for her.

We both wanted to be in the country our children were in, so in 2016 we started to live apart, together. It wasn't something we needed to discuss, it just evolved. My trips home got longer and longer until I couldn't really say I lived in Denmark any more.