RISE ABOVE THE NOISE

How to overcome self-defeating thoughts.

- By Santosh Pattanaik

“A sick thought can devour the body’s flesh more than fever or consumption.” — Guy de Maupassant

We often hear the phrase “self-defeating behaviours,” but what does it really mean?

Essentially, it refers to situations where you inhibit your own success, which can affect every aspect of your life, including work and relationships. Self-defeating thoughts, also known as negative or self-critical beliefs, are commonly referred to as ‘vultures’—symbolising the negative mental narratives we often create for ourselves. These thoughts, much like vultures, can hover over us, continually feeding on our self-doubt and negativity.

Here are some common examples of self-defeating thoughts and beliefs:

“I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never succeed.” “I’m doomed to fail.” “I’m not smart enough.” “No one likes me.” “I’m going to mess this up.” “I probably look like an idiot.” “There’s no point in trying.” “My problems are caused by other people.” “People won't love me if I’m not perfect.” “I must never fail in order to be successful” — and so on.

If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop like this, you’re not alone. Everyone struggles with negative internal voices—those nagging, critical, confidence-destroying voices that pop up when you're feeling anxious or trying something new. Many of us have these kinds of thoughts daily as we face our responsibilities and challenges, worry about whether we’re capable, and experience inevitable setbacks and mistakes.

We usually don’t realise we have them, and yet they are powerful enough to dictate our decisions. They can steer our lives in specific directions—directions that may not be supportive or healthy, and that may not lead to a fulfilling life. These thoughts become the lens through which we see ourselves, and all we see is negative.

Our minds are brilliant, busy machines, but they have a tendency to get tangled up in self-defeating thoughts.