Police negotiator Lance 'WE NEED TO OPEN UP MORE'

In his career, he excelled in a crisis – now he shares his own personal traumas

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As a son of military parents, what was your childhood like?

Mum and Dad met in the Air Force and had both experienced difficult childhoods. So in those days, because the war had just finished, “kids in the system” were just thrown in the military when they turned 16. Two broken kids from broken families came together and had me! As a kid, I got up to a lot of mischief. I didn’t know I had ADHD then. We moved around a lot because of the Air Force - Whenuapai, Bulls, Te Rapa. My mum kept my report cards from Bulls’ school, which were the first indication that things weren’t right with me. I was disruptive in class, couldn’t focus and needed to pay attention. All I knew was I didn’t fit in anywhere and I didn’t have any real friends I could rely on.

Were you a rebellious teen?

Hell, yeah. Even though I had a pass to go through secure areas of the Air Force base, I went through the creek and under the fence for the thrill of it. Why would I take the gate and sign in? I did lots of shoplifting out of boredom, too. I remember smoking a box of cigars over three months that a friend stole.

But I never had any run-ins with the police.

What did your ADHD diagnosis do for you?

Any form of neuro-divergence alienates you from the world, but you don’t know why. Having the diagnosis really does bring a sense of calm. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. Anger was my default up until a few years ago. I would just yell because no one would understand me. It wasn’t until I started studying neuroscience that I walked into the office and said, “I think I’ve got ADHD.” My daughter Haley goes, “Ya think, pal?!” They had diagnosed me years ago. I used to wonder why the police picked me to be on a whole lot of different selection panels. They told me I thought differently and asked unusual questions. I’ve now accepted I have a different brain from others.