Wellbeing

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- Tasneem Larney

PLEASING TO PROTECT

Are you a people pleaser? If you've ever laughed at a joke that wasn’t funny, rushed to say ‘I love it’ about a gift you didn’t like, or found yourself bending over backwards to keep the peace, just say yes. These habits can point to something deeper: the fawn response. ‘Fawning’ describes a pattern of people-pleasing behaviours rooted in the need for safety, approval and connection.

In Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves — and How to Find Our Way Back, clinical psychologist Ingrid Clayton explores how this instinct develops, and how it quietly pulls us away from ourselves. Unlike simple kindness, fawning often comes at a cost. It can mean suppressing your emotions and relying on others to validate your worth, which can blur your sense of identity. What looks like flexibility or selflessness may actually be your nervous system trying to avoid conflict or rejection.