DON'T INHALE

COBOL is the asbestos of programming languages.

- BY ZEB LARSON

A regular column about programming. Because if/when the machines take over, we should at least speak their language.

EARLY IN THE Covid-19 pandemic, the governor of New Jersey made an unusual admission: He'd run out of COBOL developers. The state's unemployment insurance systems were written in the 60-year-old programming language and needed to be updated to handle the hundreds of thousands of claims. Trouble was, few of the state's employees knew how to do that. And the crisis went beyond New Jersey, just one of many states that depended on these unwieldy systems. By one rough calculation, COBOL's inefficiencies cost the US GDP $105 billion in 2020. You might think New Jersey would have replaced its system after this—and that Covid was COBOL's last gasp. Not quite. The state's new unemployment system came with a number of quality-of-life improvements, but on the backend, it was still made possible by a mainframe running the ancient language.

COBOL, short for Common Business-Oriented Language, is the most widely adopted computer language in history. Of the 300 billion lines of code that had been written by the year 2000, 80 percent of them were in COBOL. It's still in widespread use and supports a large number of government systems, such as motor vehicle records and unemployment insurance; on any given day, it can handle something on the order of 3 trillion dollars' worth of financial transactions. I think of COBOL as a kind of digital asbestos, almost ubiquitous once upon a time and now incredibly, dangerously difficult to remove.