CLOUDY DAY

FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH tries to convince you it's moving

- By Baxter Burchill

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth gave me the world's most luxurious vacation. From cruises, to resorts, to the world's greatest amusement park, I was shuffled like a hurried tourist from one dazzling experience to the next, showered with endless shiny new things to admire. But the indoor kid in me must be too strong, because it didn't take long before I was tired of all the sights and sounds and just wanted to go home.

The middle entry in Square Enix’s ambitious planned trilogy remaking one of the most iconic games of all time, Rebirth sees the cast of 2020’s Final Fantasy VII Remake on the road, having escaped from the industrial city Midgar to travel the world and hunt down the evil hottie Sephiroth. As Square Enix proudly claims, it’s a “standalone game that welcomes fans and newcomers alike” and – wait, are we sure about that?

I don’t know how Square Enix got that idea in its head, but take it from me: Rebirth is the most sequel a sequel has ever sequeled. There’s a video summary you can watch to get yourself up to speed, but once you hit New Game all bets are off, with anyone unlucky enough to start here plunged headfirst into the complex world-building and character arcs that’ve already been stacking up for 40+ hours or 28 years, depending on how you look at it. And that’s to say nothing of the incidental Remake faces you’ll encounter. It seems like the population of Midgar decided to leave with the main cast, because I was finding folks I could barely remember, and just as many that I couldn’t at all.

Rebirth isn’t shy about bringing in ideas and folks from the game’s wider universe, known as the