No box to tick to know we are human

Read Martin's column every week in the Western Morning News

- Martin Hesp

HALF-A-DOZEN times today I've been asked a question which I imagine no ancestor of mine or anyone else's ever had put to them. "Are you human?

Of course, you don't have to answer yes or no - you just click a little box, which seems to suffice. But if you're online banking or doing anything else that requires your personal data, it is nowadays something that needs to be established.

I cannot imagine how my rustic grandfather from the Somerset Levels would have regarded the question had it ever been put to him. I think he would have just looked perplexed and walked away. I say that because he wasn't even any good at using a telephone.

My grandparents didn't have one so, living next door to us, they'd use ours. On the rare occasions when someone like a doctor rang for granddad, we boys would run around to tell the old boy he was required a task which we loved because we'd escort him back and giggle as he'd gingerly pick up the device and hold it at arm's length as if it contained some deadly spike that might pop out of the earpiece and pierce his brain.

With much clearing of throat and nervousness, he'd say: "Langsford here." Never Mr Langsford, or Harold Langsford. Just the surname. As if his old officer in World War II was about to bark some order down the line. If granddad knew anything, he "knew his place".