Already late to the party despite my forward planning

MY PHONE pinged this morning.

- LYNNE BARRETT-LEE

Six-thirty, this was. Then again, as is its way, at 6.40. It was a calendar alert, typed and stowed away goodness knows how long back, and which said (and I quote): “GET A TREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”Leaving aside the typically borderline hysterical nature of this early-morning directive (how people populate their personal calendars is a whole other column), the key thing to note here is the timing. Not as in the hour - who doesn’t like to start their day with a strident to-do alert? - but in terms of the date. For this particular rude awakening was only the second of my phone diary’s Christmas Calls To Arms, the first being the reminder that had arrived 10 days earlier, namely: “ADVENT CALENDARS! ORGANISE NOWWWW!!!”

Yes, Advent calendars. I get it. The clue is in the title. But the tree? How could the tree be only the second item on my carefully systemised to-do-list-alert plan? What is that all about? Since when did you need to secure a tree by the end of the first week of December, or on your own sorry, useless head be it?