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When Protection Becomes Possession: True Rebellion Begins Where Roles End
July 20, 2025
|The Sunday Guardian
At times, the most unexpected headlines catch us off guard: a young woman's life cut short, not by a stranger, but allegedly by her own father.
At times, the most unexpected headlines catch us off guard: a young woman's life cut short, not by a stranger, but allegedly by her own father. Such occurrences seem unexpected, even unthinkable. But are they really that sudden? Or have they been quietly developing for a long time before the final act?
What appears to be an abrupt, violent outburst is often the result of a long-suppressed issue. These occurrences are not unique. They are part of a recurring pattern that is ingrained in families, households, and society as a whole.
Conditional Love and the Silent Trade-Off
Often, women are encouraged to be independent, but only within limits quietly set by others, like a bird trained to fly inside a cage. There are unstated terms behind this encouragement: you may grow, but only within the boundaries others have set. Daily routines, such as a father dropping her off at the stadium, a husband picking her up from work, or a brother keeping a watchful eye, reinforce these boundaries, which are disguised as love. She must play her role: the agreeable daughter, the obedient wife. And in return, the man she depends on plays his part. It's a deal. Break the script, and the consequences begin to surface.
The arrangement feels safe until it's tested. The moment a woman steps beyond her assigned, self-sacrificing role, the hidden terms of the contract emerge. Control appears, dressed up as care.
Across the world, women are far more likely to be killed by someone close to them than by a stranger. A partner, a father, a brother—these names appear far too often in stories we read and sometimes even in lives we know. UN data shows that in close to 60 percent of all female homicides, the killer is a family member or intimate partner. It's not a rare tragedy; it's a long-standing pattern, quietly playing out behind familiar doors.
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