Golf scores bogey with puzzling glitch

The exterior lights of the Volkswagen Golf come on when you approach it. As you get nearer, the wing mirrors unfold and the doors unlock automatically, as if saying: "Come on, let's go for a drive."

- Lee Nian Tjoe

So I did. Or rather, I would have, if the engine could start.

The metallic silver test car was running fine when I got it in the afternoon and there was no sign that anything was amiss when I drove it to dinner as well. But pushing the engine's start button after getting my fill of Korean fried chicken and taking in the Golf's welcome light show... nothing happened.

Everything else seemed to be working. The digital display did its little start-up dance and the infotainment system connected wirelessly to my mobile phone and showed the CarPlay screen instantaneously. There was airflow from the air-conditioning vents too. But it was not chilled, of course, since the compressor can run only when the engine is turning.

The engine was not turning.

The folk at the IT helpdesk in my office would be glad to know that I remembered their top advice for resolving computer-related problems: "Turn it off and back on again."

I got out of the car, locked it and walked away to repeat the sequence. Still nothing.

I repeated it a few more times, but to no avail. In the end, I left the car where it was and took the bus home, but not before sending its location to the Volkswagen staff over a WhatsApp message, because I could not reach him on his mobile phone.