'My ex-partner hacked into my email, but I caught him'

Alex Ross talks to a 62-year-old victim of coercive behaviour

- ALEX ROSS

For years, Jenny* thought it was odd how her ex-partner always seemed to be at the front gate to her house when someone came to meet her.

She had broken free of the abusive relationship, but he still managed to remain present in whatever she was doing, or who she was meeting.

Living in a small village, and him still living close by, she understood people bump into each other – but almost every day?

“I went crazy,” she said. “Whenever people came to visit me, he would be there, asking them ‘what are you doing seeing her’, ‘what are you doing’. I didn’t understand it, how could he know? Then, it suddenly clicked.”

For two years, Jenny was oblivious to the fact she was not the only person using her email account.

Also with access, was her ex-partner, who used the account they once shared for a business they ran, to monitor every movement she was making, and to stalk and harass her.

He even impersonated her by sending emails to others, often rude messages to family and friends.

“Every part of my life was under his control,” the 62-year-old said. “I thought I’d left the controlling relationship, but if anything, he stepped up his obsession in me, and I was unaware he was even doing it. “I only caught him by sending a test email to a friend, saying I'm going to run away. He went absolutely ape, and then I knew. It was horrifying, realising I'd been under his surveillance for years.”

The former couple had been together 10 years.

She was grieving over the loss of someone close, and, with charm and politeness, he befriended her quickly, soon moving into her home before promising a new start with the joint opening of a business in a rural village.