How we've chosen our son's welfare over our principles

A mother who thinks the private school system is wrong, but pays for a tutor for her child who fell behind in class, explains how she fears she has become a middle-class hypocrite

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It started with Kumon. When my then eight-year-old son – a June baby, at the younger end of his state primary year group – was struggling to retain his times tables, and falling behind in maths, it was quickly apparent that his teacher was not able to offer him the support that he needed. Worse, she seemed to be parking him in “duds” territory. To be clear, I don’t view any children as duds, but when a teacher is grappling with a class of 30-plus kids with wildly varying needs and abilities, I can see the temptation to crudely organise by ability.

Kumon, a daily maths worksheet plus a weekly in-person session, cost about £40 a week at the time; the same price, I reasoned, as just one session with a maths tutor. My husband and I had chosen state education largely because of the level playing field it offered, but when deciding to pay for a tutor, we didn’t spend too much time considering the ethics of our decision.

My son, also a “reluctant reader”, was becoming increasingly unenthusiastic about going to school. His self-worth was being crumpled by being allocated to the bottom groups. Even in his primary school, they were streamed and despite the groups being named after flowers rather than ranked by number, those children all knew exactly where they stood in the supremacy ranks.