FLYING SOLO

It’s widely believed that two-parent families with a male role model are the gold standard for wellbeing but, says single mother of two Charlotte Cripps, that isn’t always the case

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I'm a single parent - I've never known it any other way. It wasn't exactly the plan. My partner died while we were in the middle of our IVF journey, and I went on to have his two children after he died using his banked sperm. Like many women, I didn't want being single to mean the end of my dreams of motherhood.

I’m not alone. The number of single women undergoing fertility treatment in the UK has more than trebled in the last 10 years, according to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority. One in four families with dependent children in the UK are also headed by a single parent – and a whopping 89 per cent of them are single-mum families, according to the Office for National Statistics in 2024.

Yet, single mothers like me often feel mum-shamed for our decisions to have children alone, as we are faced with judgmental assumptions and stereotypes that two-parent families with a male role model are the gold standard.

People always assume I’m looking for somebody to fill that father figure role for my daughters, Lola, nine, and Liberty, seven – but I’m not. I get annoyed when dad friends take it upon themselves to boss my kids about – or lecture them. My children seem happy and balanced with just me as a parent – surely what is most important is a loving relationship? To have one secure parent, or two same-sex parents, has got to be better for a child’s mental health than an unstable environment with a male in the home. I’m used to being on my own; it’s easier in many ways. I don’t have to answer to anybody else when it comes to parenting styles; whether it’s jellyfish or helicopter, the decision is mine.