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All's fair in love and war for the relationship anarchists

January 03, 2026

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The Independent

Ditching labels, structures and hierarchies may be one way of breathing new life into a tired partnership

- Olivia Petter

All's fair in love and war for the relationship anarchists

Of all the dating trends set to dominate 2026, few would suspect “relationship anarchy”. Not least because most people don’t even know what it means. And yet, according to data compiled by the dating app Feeld, one in five of us is practising it already. To some, the term itself might sound like a lexical impossibility: how can you have a relationship if you're actively rebelling against being in one? Well, quite. But an outright rejection of romantic love is not what relationship anarchy is.

Coined by writer and activist Andie Nordgren in a manifesto published in 2006, the term refers to a relationship style that is not bound by any rules that haven't been agreed upon by those involved. According to Nordgren's manifesto, which draws on principles such as anti-hierarchy and anti-capitalism, relationship anarchy "questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple". That means there are no labels, structures or hierarchies because, as Nordgren puts it, "One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real." This means that you don't define anyone or anything, rendering terms like "partner" and "friend" obsolete in the place of a more fluid approach to any kind of relationship.

According to Feeld's survey of more than 9,000 respondents, 20 per cent of those who aren't already on the app are practising relationship anarchy without realising, with the figure jumping up to 50 per cent among Feeld's users. Awareness is highest among younger generations, with Gen-Zers more likely to practice RA than boomers. There are benefits to this lifestyle, too, with Feeld's report finding that those practising RA were 20 per cent more likely to report having a reliable support network compared to those who don't, while also being 27 per cent more likely to value small, deep connections for reducing loneliness.

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