The Saudi football World Cup is an act of violence and disdain

Well, that's that then. In the event there were only two notes of jeopardy around Fifa's extraordinary virtual congress last week to announce the winning mono-bids, the vote without a vote, for the right to host the 2030 and 2034 football World Cups.

- Barney Ronay

First, exactly how disgusting would this spectacle turn out to be in the flesh? The answer to which, perhaps unsurprisingly, was: extremely disgusting. And second, how would the process actually work?

In the buildup there had been talk of bid approval by "acclamation". A show of applause from the 221 online delegates had been mooted. But why stop at applause? Why not an air raid klaxon, or a silent scream or a howl of despair? Why not the creak of a coffin lid?

"I would like to explain how this will now take place," Fifa's president, Gianni Infantino, announced as the massed heads of the global football power brokers appeared on screen behind him, going on to state that there would be two separate shows of support, one for the winning bids, one for the procedural circus that brought us here. The best bit was when Infantino demonstrated the required style of acclaim, raising his hands to the side of his face and clapping them together adorably, like a 1950s teenager expressing excitement about the appearance of a new dream boy in town.

"Thank you for this clear vote of support," Infantino bellowed, before turning to the "scrutineers", who rubber-stamped the procedure with a mass of double thumbs up. And that was pretty much that, a fait deja accompli, formally acclaimed into existence.