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Why grandparents can call the shots over free childcare

July 16, 2025

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The Gazette

SET BOUNDARIES FOR A SUCCESSFUL SUMMER, SAYS CAMILLA FOSTER

Why grandparents can call the shots over free childcare

OFFERING childcare support to your adult children during school holidays can be a deeply fulfilling experience for grandparents and a wonderful way to strengthen enduring bonds with grandchildren.

However, it can sometimes feel like walking on eggshells if expectations aren’t clearly discussed and mutually agreed upon.

Here, Amanda Macdonald from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, shares expert advice on how to navigate these awkward conversations...

How can grandparents set healthy boundaries with the child's parents about scheduling, expectations and responsibilities?

In order to set healthy boundaries, communication is key.

“As with many things, planning in advance works best,” says Amanda. “Having an ongoing communication with your adult children and their partners, and considering in advance what support you can offer over school holidays establishes clear boundaries from the start.

“A grandparent should take some time to consider the role they want to have and hope to have with their grandchildren, and be cautious about over-committing.”

How can grandparents clarify what they're willing - and not willing - to do without causing tension?

Difficult conversations are important to address, so don’t tiptoe around them.

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