THE OTHER SIDE OF A MAN

In the run-up to the International Men’s Day on Nov 19 and the ongoing ‘Movember’ month, let’s dig deep into ‘rain shadow’ zones of men

- Pramita Bose

Men have been exploring their sensitive side for long now. However, the so-called stronger sex is yet to shed their patriarchal baggage completely. Over centuries, they have been fed with the ‘men dont cry’ doctrine or closer home, the more desi dictum rules as ‘Mard ko dard nahin hota’. Consequently, they don't feel the pain of their counterpart — the womenfolk — as many grouse. But there's been a tangible undercurrent of social, economic and emotional shifts over time, which is subtly tiding over orthodox norms and principles.

Be teary-eyed than a bully

“It’s totally okay for men to cry or crease their forehead when chips are down. I don't always express myself overtly but when I do, it’s a genuine and spontaneous outburst. I mean you cant fake such things, can you?” confides 30-year old PR consultant Gaurav Jain.

“I remember my granddad to weep buckets everytime we took his leave after paying him an annual visit in the tea gardens of Darjeeling where he lived in his ancestral abode,” recalls medical student Sanjana Basu in her early 20s. “It’s normal for men to shed tears and it’s an insensitive behaviour on the society's part asking them not to,” she insists.

“It’s a pity that men are often labelled as sissy or mocked as a wimp if they show their softer sides, which are seldom talked about, valued and appreciated. Society expects us to emerge as ‘masculine’ fastened to certain clichés that replicate a macho screen hero but all this frequently shrouds a big part of who we actually are,” rues Jain.

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