Well, hello Comrade Bozell

Dear Comrade Bozell, Congratulations on your appointment as US ambassador to our funny little country.

- BEN TROVATO

We kneel in gratitude for gracing us with your esteemed presence.

Leo Brent Bozell III. Wow. An impressive name for an impressive man. I see you were one of 10 children! No wonder your parents gave each of you a number. Were you ever at a bingo evening when number three was called? I bet you leapt to your feet and shouted, “Papa, I am here!”

And you have five children yourself? Shame. Your parents must have been disappointed. Still. Five isn’t bad going. Vatican City has a zero birth rate and they call themselves Catholics. So, 25 grandchildren if they all follow in your footsteps, and 125 great-grandchildren if they continue the tradition. I hope you're still around to get to know Leo Brent Bozell CXXV.

I believe your boy Leo IV was visiting Washington on 6 January when he joined a swarm of unruly tourists demanding a free tour of the Capitol. Fair play to him. We all like free stuff. Later, a jury of left-wing Antifa sympathisers inexplicably convicted him on 10 charges and he was sentenced to almost four years in jail.

Outrageous! Thank heavens his name was on the list when your buddy in the big house was dishing out pardons for this miscarriage of justice.

Let me just say, sir, that it is very brave of you to come to a country where white people are being slaughtered wholesale.