Rethinking monogamy

BONDING: QUESTION ABOUT WHETHER THE ONE IS FOREVER THE ONE

- Hein Kaiser

Monogamy: the belief that people are wired for one and automated socially to live happily ever after, with the same person, through thick and thin, sick and sin, until the end. It's the subject of love songs, the basis of relationship advice, the meal ticket of soothsayers and the adulterous headline of divorce papers. Yet, people stray and play in someone else's playground often.

Sexuality and this kind of behaviour has always begged the question about whether the one, is forever the one, for just Mr or Mrs right now.

Researchers, anthropologists and modern lovers are increasingly exploring the relevance of the monogamy conundrum.

Savethatspark.com relationship specialist Lisa Welsh said that biologically, are we built to bond. "But being able to bond with someone is not the same as being built for lifelong monogamy," she added.

Welsh said that two key hormones called oxytocin and vasopressin, are central to human attachment. Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the love hormone because it is released during moments of intimacy like hugging, kissing, sex and even childbirth.

Welsh said oxytocin promotes feelings of trust and closeness while vasopressin is linked to protective behaviour and long-term attachment.

"These chemicals play a huge role in the sense of closeness we feel at the start of a relationship," Welsh said.