Dinosaurs have lost all their socks appeal

MY CHAMPAGNE GLASS IS ALWAYS HALF FULL

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REGG Wallace, who liked to appear stark naked except for a sock covering his pride and joy, has been whingeing about being sacked from MasterChef, I had a chat with a 1970s dinosaur to ask what he made of it all.

“Well, the poor bloke’s been shafted, and no mistake,” said the dinosaur. “Am I still allowed to use words like ‘shafted’ or are the snowflakes going to object to that too? Back when men were men and dinosaurs were dinosaurs, the fairer sex liked a bit of banter.

“A slap on the botty and Bob’s your uncle! The lovely ladies loved it so much sometimes they'd slap me right back.

“Those were the days,” the dinosaur continued. “My better half stayed at home to raise the baby dinos and I went into the world to earn an honest keep.