The emotional toll on parents of missing children

DURING the period when a child is missing, the parents experience intense psychological trauma, which is marked by acute fear, panic, helplessness, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming guilt, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as insomnia, headaches, and weakened immunity.

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This crucial stage is commonly described as “ambiguous loss”, where parents grieve without certainty.

Even when the child is found alive, the trauma does not end. In the case of the missing 13-year-old girl, her absence combined with the relief of her being found safe, coexists with shock, anger, confusion, fear of judgement, and deep anxiety about legal and social consequences. The emotional clash can be overwhelming.

Learning that one’s child was with an older person intensifies this distress, which can trigger protective rage, fears of grooming or exploitation, moral shock, and a sense of parental role violation. There can also exist an element of distrust of the world and systems meant to protect the child.

The impact on the parent-child relationship is important in that the parents may experience emotional distance, difficulty trusting the child, and fear of saying the “wrong” things. Parents can also be caught in an internal conflict between protection and discipline. This can lead to long-term relational fractures.

The child’s psychological experience