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Sharon Govender's journey through grief and chronic illness

September 03, 2025

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SINCE 2013, life has never been the same for Sharon Govender, a mother whose world was shattered when a car accident claimed the lives of her two sons.

- MONISHKA GOVENDER

Already struggling with serious health issues since 2007, Govender has spent more than a decade navigating profound grief alongside chronic illness.

The 55-year-old, of Westville, who works in finance, lost her sons in 2013.

“Kovan and Nigel Moodley were from my first marriage. They were 2 and 4 years old when their dad passed away in a motor vehicle accident in 1997. I was 26 when I became a widow.”

In the midst of losing her sons, Govender was already living with trigeminal neuralgia (TN), oral lichen planus and oral lichenoid dysplasia-OLP (autoimmune conditions).

“The TN symptoms started in late 2007. The discomfort started in my right jaw, tongue and cheek. I felt as if ice fluid was draining inside my lower jawbone from the back on my right side of my face to the middle of my lower lip.

“This escalated to severe tingling and electric shock like stings. It resulted in me not being able to brush my teeth at times, unable to gargle and unable to chew my food. Over time, this resulted in me removing perfectly good teeth.”

She said the most challenging aspect was explaining what she was experiencing to someone else.

“I would get told 'you look perfectly fine'. That's the problem. They must see something physically wrong with one to understand or believe.

“My dentist referred me to a maxillofacial surgeon in 2008. He said I required an apicoectomy to treat persistent infections at the root tip of a tooth. However, the pain continued. He did X-rays and said I required surgery at the back of my jaw. During surgery, there was nothing there but a hole that was created by me removing my wisdom tooth.”

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