Fed up with situationships, Gen Z is ready to commit

For some, the shift away from traditional relationships has been a positive choice

- Natasha Dangoor

Over dinner on a recent spring evening, Rachel Green listened patiently as her friend droned on about needing a permanent job. Then she erupted.

"You're about to buy an apartment with your long-term boyfriend," 24-year-old Green reminded her companion. "Meanwhile, I've just come out of a six-month situationship."

Gen Z came of age in a swipe-right world, where instant access to dates further blurred the lines between friendships, hookups and full-fledged relationships. The loose nature of these situationships, romantic entanglements that exist somewhere between friendship and fidelity, was meant to limit fallout and maybe even help couples take baby steps toward commitment.

Dating in such a gray area has instead left many in the dark, especially when things fall apart. And zoomers have just about had enough of situationships, which they say are marked by a sense of confusion and rejection that extends long after they're supposedly over.

Green and the man she was in a situationship with had stayed at each other's apartments, eaten together in restaurants and met each other's friends. But they didn't celebrate relationship milestones or go on vacation together, because that would have removed the spontaneity.

"There's a feeling of constant rejection throughout the situationship because one person does not want to fully commit—otherwise it would become a relationship," said Green, who lives in London. "But the adrenaline and sense of reward when it is going well can be addictive."

Excitement also drew Daniel Robison into a situationship at 25. "The places we went to were flashy. His friends were cool," the millennial Atlanta-based filmmaker recalled. Eventually, the illusion faded. "Part of the chemistry was just running on guessing fumes," he said.