SEEKING A FAMILY VACATION WIN-WIN?

TRAVELING WITH YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR CHILD REQUIRES PLENTY OF COPING MECHANISMS AND STRATEGIZING IN ADVANCE. HERE ARE TIPS FOR STAYING CALM AMID THE CHAOS.

- PAUL VON ZIELBAUER

IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO TRAVEL with children and parents this holiday season, may the grace of whatever god you believe in descend upon you with alacrity. May you never grow weary, frustrated or borderline psychotic when your 80-something mom questions your every decision moments after you make it, or when your child loses that wildly overpriced souvenir hours after you finally agree to buy it. $ But let’s be real: Being on vacation with a parent and child requires many coping mechanisms that aren't obvious before you're deep into the experience. As the sandwichgeneration adult responsible for your multigenerational holiday, you need to be part tour director, part therapist and part life coach to everyone counting on you for a vacation of a lifetime. $I know, because earlier this year I spent three weeks in Austria, Switzerland and southern Bavaria with my 81-year-old mother and grade-school daughter. This was a vacation that we'll each remember, always. It was that good. But it wasn’t easy. $ And it required a lot of preparatory work and patience. Here are my Top 10 lessons learned, for anyone who plans to soon or someday travel with a child and an older parent.

Think of yourself as an expedition leader and master every logistical detail

For my daughter's sake, I never left our hotel or Airbnb without a full water bottle and a hardboiled egg or two from the breakfast buffet. Or a couple oranges or other fruit that wouldn’t get crushed at the bottom of a backpack. Nothing is fun on vacation if your kid gets “hangry.”

The calculation for a parent is different. Because my mom wasn't interested in managing more than her own aches and pains, I knew I had to be in charge of every move every day, from getting to sites to negotiating purchases to finding places to eat and managing the heat and everyone's daily moods and energy levels.

Create an itinerary that suits your parent’s and child’s needs and personalities