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It mends with us: Swipe right on yourself

December 29, 2024

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Hindustan Times East UP

It struck me, as I sat down to write this, that I talk quite a lot about how we should love each other.

- Simran Mangharam

I have a confession to make: Every December, I catch myself wondering if I've done enough to learn, grow, love. This year, the questions hit me harder than usual. Perhaps because, in late-middle age, life seems more finite and, in some strange way, more profound.

I am coming to terms with some things I really can't afford to ignore any more. I share them here so that perhaps you can too.

The inevitable orphanhood We don't like to admit it, but parents will age. Children will soon enough not need us like they used to. In my case, Dad died a few years ago. Now, between the teenage kids and an ageing Mum, I live in a world that is a daily reminder of how fleeting life is.

It's a matter of time before home is just my wife and me. And then one of us will depart. One can see this as morbid, or as a call to invest in the people we love, so that when orphanhood arrives, we will not have ended up marooned. It is true that none of us is indispensable, but it is also true that we need each other more than we will often admit.

Money can buy freedom The Indian middle-class is so increasingly wealthy that we've built up a lot of strange arguments and philosophies around money: how we collect it, spend it, display it; how much we'll admit we care about it.

The truth is, in our world, there is nothing that can get one out of a tight spot quite as easily. So my advice is, always have some "f***-you" money set aside, to get yourself out of a demeaning job or a toxic situation, or otherwise be your own rescuer. Simply put: Save. Not for the bigger house or oversized ego, but for peace of mind.

In late-middle-age, I am beginning to appreciate how money also allows one that ultimate luxury: the freedom to choose how one spends one's finite time on this planet.

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