Banking on our wildlife to strike the right note

DESPITE the fact that the ink flow has malfunctioned on my colour printer and my counterfeit licence has expired, it was disappointing to hear the recent decision by the Bank of England.

- With Graham Davies

Apparently the historical figures on banknotes will be replaced by British wildlife on the next series of notes.

They think that images of wildlife will be difficult to counterfeit, although I was having more of a problem with the multi-coloured graphic designs and holograms, and my Winston Churchill looked too much like Gary Oldman. But then he cheated with foam body suits and hairpieces.