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Understanding emotional black holes

November 20, 2025

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Cape Argus

UNRECOGNISED CONTRIBUTIONS

- ANOLENE THANGAVELU PILLAY

DESPITE growing awareness of emotional imbalances in relationships, many individuals still experience their sincere contributions going unrecognised, creating an invisible emotional void.

This silent depletion can be likened to an emotional black hole - a space where genuine appreciation and care are absorbed but never returned, leaving people feeling invisible and drained.

How often have you wondered why your efforts remain unnoticed, even as you witness others around you receiving the recognition you desire?

This widespread but overlooked emotional phenomenon poses significant risks to mental well-being, yet few frameworks empower individuals to clearly distinguish between sincere value and exploitative transactional exchanges.

At the core of emotional imbalance lies my framework’s key distinction between Sincere Value - authentic, heartfelt recognition - and Transactional Value - relationships reduced to exchanges where emotional labour becomes invisible currency.

This divide plays out daily in personal, family and familial relationships, where unseen emotional workloads carry heavy costs. Who tends to shoulder the silent burden of smoothing tensions, anticipating everyone's needs and keeping peace — often at the expense of their own well-being?

How often does bullying, social exclusion or unspoken manipulation turn what should be caring bonds into exploitative transactions? These real-time struggles reveal the emotional black holes that silently drain self-worth and fuel mental exhaustion.

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