The first time I acknowledged I was trans, in the properly conscious sense, beyond speculation, was around my 30th birthday. Almost four years before I came out publicly.
"Do you think I'm trans?" I'd asked a close friend. They answered hesitantly, knowing no one can come to that conclusion for someone else, but they looked at me with a quiet recognition and said, "I could see that ..." It was a light shining through from under the door.
Then there was the time when I wasn't the one to bring it up. I was having a small party. People jumped in the pool and huddled together on outdoor furniture. My friend Star and I sat off alone, catching up on the patio. I met Star when we were making the first season of Gaycationshe worked at a San Francisco clinic run by trans women that offered health care and support for those in the LGBTQ+ community who needed it.
Star and I connected, in that way where the future flashes, an auspicious beginning. We stayed in touch and became good friends. She has experienced far more obstacles and barriers than I have, yet she holds space for me, supports me, sees me. She's a singer, and I remember being mesmerized by her voice when I first listened to her album, Star. The lyrics of her song "Heartbreaker" played on repeat in my mind for weeks after:
I run away from feeling too good
I'm scared as hell you'd leave me if you knew
I run away from feeling too good
I'm scared as hell you'd leave me if you knew
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة June 12, 2023 من Time.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 8500 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك ? تسجيل الدخول
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة June 12, 2023 من Time.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 8500 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك? تسجيل الدخول
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