My 15 minutes of fame

It is kind of fashionable these days to assert that this thing or that thing has not been done in the past 70 years. In keeping with this trend, I hereby declare that never in the past 70 years had I been asked by anyone to hoist the national flag at any function.

- K.C. VERMA

Yet, there was no dearth of opportunities; after all, Republic Days and Independence Days come around with clockwork regularity. There are sports meets and founders' days and whatnot parades, too. But never, not once, had I been invited to unfurl our flag!

Even the 'Har Ghar Jhanda' campaign was hijacked by the missus, who made it her personal tamasha by flying the flag at the end of a curtain rod and poking it out from our balcony. She manipulated the support of Phulwanti, the maid, and Bassa Ram, our driver, by promising them a bonus. No wonder they gathered around and cheered while she did the honours.

I would have forever remained a virgin in the matter of unfurling flags, had it not been for the residents' association of our condo. This organisation honours old residents by inviting them by turn to lead the Republic Day and Independence Day celebrations. This August 15, I was the one chosen!

A week ahead, the president of the association visited our home to formally invite me and to brief me about the programme. He informed me that after I hoisted the tricolour, the children would sing Jana Gana Mana, and I would need to say a few words. Very patronisingly he added, “If you don’t know the national anthem, just move your lips.” The pompous bloody ass!